


Grieving

by Scarlett_Phoenix



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M, Grieving, Mention of Character Death, Post - X2: X-Men United
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2030490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlett_Phoenix/pseuds/Scarlett_Phoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott after the events of X2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grieving

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while watching X2 earlier today. I'm sure there's more fics like this out there and I'm sure this won't be the end of them since apparently these characters are making a comeback in the movieverse. I own nothing; if I did then I wouldn't have written this fic. 
> 
> It's 5am and I'm sleep deprived. All careless mistakes and errors and what not are my own. Ignore them. And I'm also well aware my title may not be best for this fic. Again, blame the time. The title will change at some point. I just wanted this out of my hands. 
> 
> Btw I'm not expecting anyone to read this, but if you do please tell me what you think. Thanks. :)

Scott hadn't said a word to anyone since the jet landed back at the mansion. He showered in the locker room and changed into the comfortable clothes Bobby had brought down for him; he figured the professor had something to do with that. 

When he entered the rec room the students left. He didn't know if he should tell them to come back and tell them he would leave until he realized there were other rooms they could go to. Maybe he shouldn't have picked the main room, but it was too late for that; he didn't care. 

He flipped through the channels on the television, finally stopping on some show he hadn't seen before. He turned the volume down low and laid down on the couch, closing his eyes. Laying here was one of the things she loved to do with him in their free time at night and before he could stop himself, his thoughts drifted back to last week. 

It was Tuesday night when they had listened to the news, turning it down low because they already knew what the news anchors had to say. They were also listening for the students, making sure they didn't get into mischief before they headed off to bed. 

From time to time they could hear Kitty and Piotr yelling at each other over their relationship issues. Jean had giggled into his chest over their thoughts. She then told him mentally the pair's issues which would only bring up memories of their own little fights they had when they first started their relationship.

Ororo then came by before she headed up for the night and teased them to get a room. Not even five minutes after Ororo left Jean had turned off the television and kissed him while asking if he was ready. By then he led her upstairs to their room that was now empty-

 _Empty._ Empty is what brought him back to reality. Everything was empty. His heart, his soul, his body, even his head except for the throbbing pain. 

He had felt the bond he shared with Jean tear away from him. It hurt worse than hell, but he couldn't scream or cry out in pain when it happened. He knew it would happen if she died and the same happening to her if he died; he was somewhat prepared for that happening in all the years they spent together even though the pain was unimaginable as it was. That was something they talked about one night when she had a terrifying nightmare about death three years into their relationship. He couldn't live without her. She also knew that, yet here he was. 

_He,_ Cyclops, was the leader of the X-Men. _He_ was the one who was supposed to risk his life over all of them. _He_ always made sure they discussed their options before making a decision. Each one of them knew that. Jean knew that, but she made her choice and gave her life for the team without a warning. It should have been him and that made him sick. Worst of all he felt like he failed her somehow because he couldn't do anything more to save her at that moment, couldn't think of a better option than the one she had. Even the slightest bit of him was thankful the roles weren't reversed because he never ever wanted to cause Jean this much pain as he felt right now. 

At least she knew how much he loved her. That was the last thing he had hoped she heard before she let the waters take her. It was also the last thing he heard in his head. Even now it still echoed just like her presence still lingered. 

The loud laughter from the television caused him to jump and open his eyes. Nothing about this day was funny. The world didn't even know a life was lost today and if the world knew, it wouldn't care. They would probably laugh because it's one less mutant to worry about in the end. Scott clenched his fist when he sat up, reaching for the remote with the other and turned it off. 

He slowly made his way up the stairwell. A few students made their way down and neither said a word to him. He made it to their hallway and stopped at their door, resting his forehead against it and taking a deep breath. Scott knew he had to do this. If he didn't tonight, then he never would and it would be that much harder. 

Scott slowly opened their bedroom door and made his way into the room, closing the door gently behind him. As he stood there, he took in the room. Her sweater was on the small table, her pants on the floor, her two favorite pairs of shoes under the table and outside the closet, and her nightgown on the floor on his part of the bed. 

The perfumes and lotions were still in place on the dressers, the finals of the first semester that needed grading still stacked in a pile she kept postponing to grade only to give the students time to boost up their grade, and her glasses laid out beside them. The room still smelt the same, a mixture of his cologne and her perfume. Everything looked the way it was when he left with the professor and when she left with Storm to search for their newest recruit, Nightcrawler. 

When he finally walked away from the door he slipped off his shoes and made his way to their shared dresser, pulling out some pajama pants. After he changed into them he turned out the light and climbed into bed. 

The room was now dark just like his world. The bed was cold and empty just like he felt. 

He tossed and turned until he was comfortable on the bed. No matter how he laid he could still smell her shampoo that lingered on the covers and pillows beside him. He could feel the dip of the bed where she would lay at night. He could feel the cold that surrounded his body which used to be her warmth. 

Scott finally settled on his side, facing Jean's side once again. He stared out the window, seeing a few stars twinkling in the night sky. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, but Jean would at least want him to try. She would if it was reversed and he would for her, but not tonight. 

He took off his shades and set them down close by on the bed. He found himself hugging Jean's pillow to his chest, burying his face in her scent and let his tears fall for the second time that day. Deep down he hoped that Jean would open the door and crawl into her place in the bed where she rightfully belonged, awakening him from this sick dream called reality.


End file.
